Greetings all! I am back, the average reader has gotten the gist that I am sporadic like the rains of the Namib desert. (We ought to fix that)

How did I get here?

A friend suggested I listen to “Daily Search My Heart” by 1Spirit and Theophilus Sunday, apparently its a great way to start one’s day. (Tell me why “Start your day the Kelloggs Cornflakes way” started chiming in my head)

Anyway, I listened to it and continued to listen to it and I let it minister to me. It is based on

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Try me, and know my anxieties;

And see if there is any wicked way in me,

And lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139: 23-24

Why do we need to ask God to search our hearts?

It is so easy to look at yourself and find comfort “angikho that bad”, (I’m not that bad) and we could be giving ourselves gold stars without realising that we’ve been making grave mistakes. Theophilus Sunday rightly said “You will not know some things that you are capable of doing, until they are laid bare before you…what you have to do is do like David and say ‘Lord search my heart and know my ways…’”

God knows that unchecked, we are quite wretched creatures,

The heart is deceitful above all things,

And desperately wicked;

Who can know it?

Jeremiah 17:9

The past three months of my life have not been elite for several reasons and one of them is how appalled I got at the state of my heart. I was Like Lorde in her song Supercut, “In my head, I do everything right” and then like Spongebob I found myself asking the million-dollar question

God, in His mercy and love, began to show me the times where I had missed the plot completely. I was immediately brought down from my high horse, the rug had been pulled from beneath my feet. At the time, I did not take God’s nature into account, so I found myself fleeing from Him.

Why does God expose our shortcomings and flaws?

Prompted by His love for us, God exposes things in order to heal and to rectify, the goal is not to make us feel ashamed.

As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore, be zealous and repent.

Revelations 3:19

Still not convinced? God’s correction is evidence that He sees our potential and He wants to see us run this race with endurance so He will gladly rid us of any weight that slows us down or sin that easily entangles us (Hebrews 12:2)  

Prune: to remove excess material from a tree or shrub; to trim especially to make more healthy or productive.

Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.

John 15:2

The winning formula

  1. Ask God to search your heart
  2. When you receive feedback, ABIDE in Him, do not flee
  3. Do not continue looking at yourself, look to Jesus

When we get born again, our spirits are saved instantly, but it takes walking with God for our minds to be renewed and our habits and behaviour to be consistent with our new identity in Christ.

I love John 8:12, Jesus says that whoever follows Him will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life. I take darkness to be many things: spiritual death, misery, confusion, ignorance, etc.  When I got repulsed by my condition, I found myself in darkness because I was fleeing from Jesus, the light, if I abide, if I stay close to Jesus, then I won’t feel utterly downcast.

Chin up!

God is holy, holiness is the standard, but He is not shocked by humanity’s propensity for wickedness. If we were perfect, we would have no need for a saviour.

This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.

1 Timothy 1:15

In Matthew 9:10-12, the Pharisees asked Jesus’ disciples why He sat with tax collectors and sinners and he answered

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick”

God is the great physician; He is in the habit of making all things new.

For I will restore health to you

And heal you of all your wounds, says the Lord…

Jeremiah 30:17

Another thing, I feel it is a bit prideful to run away from God when we realise the depth and extent of our sins. In essence we’re saying, “You can’t help me, I am too far gone, my sin is bigger than Your sacrifice, the blood of Jesus cannot get me out of this one”

How arrogant. 1 Peter 1:18-19 highlights that we were redeemed with the “precious blood of Jesus”, no one ever got right with God by beating themselves up about their failure. We should have the attitude that Paul had when he discovered the deplorable human condition – gratitude and humility!

O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God- through Jesus Christ our Lord…

Romans 7: 24-25

In closing

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:15-16