So recently a video was uploaded on YouTube, the Top Ten Prettiest Girls in Bulawayo and the Twitter timeline and some Whatsapp group chats were blazing over it. The main comments are why on earth did some people think that it be a good idea to rate people’s appearance?, some people think others don’t belong on the list (ouch), some people detected colourism, some people are unmoved because they believe it was a publicity stunt. What better way to go viral than to ruffle some feathers?

In retrospect, I don’t think it was a good idea to post that video but I have no control over what other people decide to do with their WiFi. I am not here to address every problem that this video generated (there’s a whole lot to choose from) I would just like to look at the way some of the girls who were featured then got attacked online. If you were to sift through all the shade thrown at the girls who didn’t even know they were being featured in this video, you can come up with a short list of the top 10 insecure people. The Twitter community agrees.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, every single human being is a unique masterpiece and some people will appreciate you and others may be blind to the wonder that you are. Look at music, you have a favourite genre, you don’t appreciate every genre under the sun the same way but it doesn’t mean the other genres are terrible just because you don’t fancy them. Some people think the Okavango Delta is nothing to write home about while it’s on my bucket list.

People have different perceptions of beauty: some people think dimples are cute, others don’t. However, unlike monuments, national parks and paintings in the Louvre, human beings have feelings. Ranking people as if they are destinations on TripAdvisor seems far from ethical… That’s a discussion for another day.

We live in a world where a lot of things have been designed to make life look like a competition.

Back to feelings, feelings are important. I’ve highlighted that the outside world is hostile, there is always a post or a person that can mess with your peace, but what do you feel about yourself? Your voice and your thoughts about yourself are what you’re left with when you’re all alone, are they screaming horrors? When you are insecure, it is easy to be triggered because your self-worth is based on external forces: you are always waiting to be noticed or picked.

How about picking yourself? Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but I think true beauty is when you are able to look in the mirror and say to your reflection, “Behold, I see beauty in you”

People’s perceptions and standards of beauty change so fast and they vary so greatly that the only person you can count on to call you beautiful 24/7 is YOU. There is no security in numbers when it comes to validating your existence, your vote is the only one that counts because you are number one in your life. You can check out a related post on that here.

The rates, polls and countdowns will always be there, the only human list you should worry about being on is your list. We did an exercise at a mental health workshop last year that involved writing down the names of people you love and the purpose was to see just how many people would even consider themselves. Since everyone is entitled to their own opinion, are you even on your own top ten list? I remember only a few people wrote their own names down and that made me see them in a different light. Confidence and being steady in who you are really do make you glow.

You have to hype yourself up the same way YouTube advertises YouTube on YouTube or you’ll forever be at the mercy of every passerby who has a voice or a connection to the Internet.

I found this Tweet particularly useful. 

You are you and that is more than enough, nurture yourself, drink water, get enough exercise, sleep, practice good personal hygiene and a make sure your heart is clear and you’ll be good to go.

They can do their best to rate you
And they’ll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there’s more to what you’re worth
Than their human eyes can see
Oh, I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
‘Cause I’ve found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart
And what’s in the heart defines
The measure of a man

4him, Measure of a Man

Let’s look at God’s list. Your heart is what He’s interested in. So make sure your heart is in the right place and not plotting the demise of other kids.